Life and Death

Wow!! Okay, so it's been a few months since I have taken the time to sit and write again. I have had this topic in my head and on my heart for a while. This is something that we all, as humans, struggle with on a daily basis. So what, do you ask, is the reason for this title? Simple. I am not talking about living and dying in the physical sense. For the moment, I am referring to the power of life and death that spews forth from our tongues...every day! Whoa..yes I just went there! This topic is probably one that all of you have heard many times before. So, here is a question for you, "do you think about what you say to people before, during, and/or after you have said it?" Do you realize that your words alone can build up or destroy someone in a single breath? Scripture is filled with warnings and life lessons concerning our words. Proverbs speaks over and over about the words of the wise and the folly of the foolish. Websters dictionary defines folly as:the state or quality of being foolish; lack of understanding and sense; criminally or tragically foolish actions. Did you catch that? The second definition lists the word "tragically." It was not an accident! From the beginning God gave us instructions as to what to do and say to avoid foolish people. We are to surround ourselves with wise people who will build up with their words. Proverbs 18:21 states: "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 16:24 states, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 15:1: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." What do your words do to others? Chances are, there are people who have been offended or hurt by you and you have no idea. I do not say this to be harsh. I just think it's important to be aware of what we allow to fly out of our mouths. We can be so careless at times that we don't even realize if and when we tear others down. A simple "joke" can be so hurtful that others begin to withdraw from you. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be one of those people. A dear friend told me a couple of years ago about something she learned at a retreat. Each person was given a tongue depressor (fitting for this!) and it had the word THINK on it. Now, why do you ask? Each letter stands for something. The idea is to always think before you speak. Is what you are going to say: Thoughtful, Helpful, Insightful, Necessary, and Kind? If it is not any of these things, then it shouldn't be coming out of your mouth. Now, are we always going to think that way as humans? Of course not! However, we can do our best to make sure that the ones we interract with, especially on a daily basis, are hearing words of encouragement and life from us rather than death and destruction. The book of Proverbs in particular, is filled with verses that warn and instruct on speech and the tongue. I would like to encourage you to look through the book of Proverbs. There are 31 chapters in the book and it is so simple to take one chapter a day for a month. There are specific verses that speak on how a wife speaks to her husband. Ladies, how easy is it to nag and lash out at the men God gave us to love and cherish? It's okay..be honest! I do it and I have said things that I regret. That is the thing about our words, once they are out, you can't take them back! It's often said we hurt the ones we love the most. This doesn't apply to just our spouse, it applies to friends, kids, and other family members. Why are we so quick to speak our mind? Our words are like a feather pillow that has been ripped open. Once our mouths open, those words will never be gotten back. Have you noticed that words seem to spread quicker when they are mean, destructive, full of anger, and just plain hurtful? Why are we not that quick to speak life and love to others? Why do our words of inspiration and helpfulness not spread as quickly? (Especially to the ones that need to hear it the most) Do you ever just stop and think about that? How you can make the biggest difference in a person's day..which can lead to a whole change in their lives? Yes, I know I am asking a lot of questions and these are all questions that I have and continue to ask of myself. A while back I went and saw a movie with a friend. In the movie the main character believes he is out of earshot of the child he speaks of, only to find out soon after that the child heard everything he said. The words that were spoken changed the relationship of the two people. How many relationships have been hurt by words you or someone else has spoken? You know, people speak differently to kids and make sure that they use words that are instructive and loving for the most part. Why do we not encourage adults like we would children? Why do we think we have the right to "speak our mind?" Christ did not die on the cross for us so that we could spout hatred,malice, and death to others. Is it easy to love people and use kind words..no. We are not expected to succeed at all things. We are asked to try though!! We are to do all that we can to the best of our ability and leave the rest up to God. Now, I know that I may sound redundant, but I think that we all need to be reaffirmed in what we learned years ago. Scripture flows so great together...coincidence?? NO!! God knew we would need instruction (yes even the same instruction) over and over and over again. It's very unfortunate that one thing said to us at one point or another in life, can completely change our perspective on things; especially ourselves! I have struggled with hurtful things said to me for years. These are not all recent things. Alot of them are things that were said by someone else who was hurting and thought they had a right to allow words to fly out of their mouths. There are so many examples I can give regarding the power of the tongue. What I would like to do instead is ask you to examine your heart. When was the last time you called or wrote to someone and just told them how special they are to you and how much you love them? You know, we all need to be told we are loved. My Grammie made wooden plaques along with many other things. One of my favorite ones that she made states: "Children need love, especially when they don't deserve it." Think about that for a minute. To me, I don't just see a small child who has done something naughty or is being angry with their parents; I see "children of God." Guess what? Those children, who don't deserve the amazing love that God so freely gives, are you and me! We are children of a living God and He LOVES us!! He loves us even when we don't deserve it! Do you ponder His words and warnings? Do you envision Him in front of you when you are spouting off in anger or hurt? I personally don't want to get up to heaven and have God bring out the long list, and it will be long, of things that I have said to others that were destructive. I will leave you with one last scripture that I love. Proverbs 31:26~ "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." Do you speak with wisdom? If you are troubled with a situation, do you go to His word, or do you speak the first thing that comes to your human mind? Here is something else to ponder; do you feel convicted when you have said something hurtful to someone? That is the Lord nudging you to make it right. Will you set your pride aside and make amends with the one you have hurt? If you are the one that has been hurt, are you willing to reconcile? I can say from experience on both of those ends, that neither one is easy! That is where God's grace and mercy shine through. Love your neighbor better than you would yourself! There is a great song by Casting Crowns called, "Here I Go Again." In the chorus of this song, he sings, "so maybe this time, I'll speak the words of LIFE, with your fire in my eyes." I would like to encourage you to speak the words of life to others this week. It is so simple to do. Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness! I know that it isn't always easy, but it is necessary! How many times have you needed someone to reach out to you, you wished they would, and nothing? Don't let a friend slip through your heart...you may regret it later. Have a life-giving week!